Wanna see something really scary?

I am a horror film enthusiast.

I love that feeling you get as the "big bad" is closing in on its unsuspecting prey. Not too unlike the thrill I get from a roller coaster. Good horror, will frighten the bugeesus out of me and I won't be able to sleep right for days. It will play tricks on my sensibilities, leaving me vulnerable and checking every shadow for signs of something sinister.

I know the response is a self-preservation mechanism and in a real world situation, I should run. So, yes, my real life horror flick would last less than 5 minutes...

"Wow, baby, this is beautiful. We got chandelier hangin' up here, kids outside playin', it's a beautiful neighborhood, I really love - this is beaut--"

[demonic whisper] "Get out!"

"Too bad we can't stay!"

Thank you Mister Murphy.

But for my film fear jonze, I stay and endure (knowing rationally that its not real and that I am safe... right?) I love the chill that creeps up my spine, the race in my pulse, quickened breath and the urge to turn on every light in a 3-mile radius.

That being said, its been a really long time since any film has frightened me to the core. Am I jaded? Have I seen it all? Is my flight response busted? Or is it that today's horror masters, just aren't that scary?

Sigh... there's tons of gruesome stuff out there to make you squirm or simply induce anxiety, from traditional "splatter films" to the oh-so-trendy "torture porn" genre and there's also plenty of cheap ploys to make the viewer jump (loud sound effects/music swells, 'effen cats jumping out of nowhere, etc.)

But what about the fear, like when you were a kid and you knew the boogie man was real and he was coming for you? You would lie paralyzed with the knowledge that tonight might be the night. Afraid to move. Afraid to breathe. Afraid to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Feeling like you were going to burst and wondering what was worse... the-th-th-th-thing-under-the-bed... or explaining to your mom that you'd wet the bed?

It's Halloween - my favorite day of the year - and I am having a movie marathon featuring some of my all-time favorite films along with some new aquisitions that I have never seen before and I hope I am so scared, I pee my pants :)

We'll see... maybe one day there will be a release that comes with a Depends®

ohmygoshflushotssuuuuuck

I know I need them, I have wicked asthma and I am in a high risk group. I try every year to avoid it, cause well, I'm a weenie and I hate needles. It totally wigs me out to think of a sliver of metal be plunged into my bod. It's just not right.

Anyway my doc, who is truly fabulous and funny, hoofnagled me into it today. She pulled out all the stops, recounting my asthma induced trips to the ER when I didn't even have a cold, much less the flu, and the last two intensive care patients she treated for pneumonia complications after the flu "ah... if they had only gotten that little shot..." The she claimed she wouldn't force me... but then said the heck with that and wrote it up anyway. With a sinister smile, she backed out of the room, hands held up oh-so-non-threatening, like she was tip toeing out of a lion's den. "Okay" she cooed "you just stay right there and we might even get you a lolly after."

So they stabbed me and pumped me full of dead viral chicken eggs, I bled like crazy, I now am achy and crazy dehydrated and there were absolutely no lollys for my pain and suffering!

Dipping a toe back in

Okay, so I have been out of the blog "pond" for a while.

I found that doing short posts via Facebook or Twitter was easier to manage than writing what I felt was the appropriate length blog. I mean, if I want people to read it, shouldn't I write something pithy or profound or at the very least, interesting?

Well that lead to me putting way to much pressure on what I chose to write, and ultimately I fell into "if you can't write anything nice, don't write anything at all" cycle. And there you have it, kaput no postings in a couple of years.

I've decided to go about things a bit differently this time around. Some posts may about to a quote or an exclamation... some may be a 3-page essay. I might share a photo or a recipe or a link. I might post twice in one day or have a week and a half lag between... I don't know and that's kind of the point, I think.

Stay tuned :)

J